Portion Sizes and Contentment

In the spirit of the approaching Thanksgiving holiday, which, as I'm sure you understand, is not celebrated here in Japan, I feel the need to count my blessings aloud. Here are the top 5 that have been in my prayers lately:

1. My supportive family is dearly missed here in Japan. The more I see of this world, the more grateful I am for parents who raised me in a loving home and in the church. My parents have done well in showing me how to love others, and they have more importantly pointed me to the One who is Love-defined, without whom love is unreasonable and, even further, impossible.

2. I have two siblings who I consider my best friends. My most fervent prayers have been for these two.

3. Everywhere I've moved since my graduation, the Lord has quickly blessed me with friends and a church to help God's Word sink further into my heart. It's been said that the longest journey is from the head to the heart, and I don't believe any aspect of this journey was ever meant to be made alone. In this journey, God consistently provides the beginning, the means, and the end.

4. I'm in Japan and loving every day of it!!

5. I'll forever be grateful for the gift of music. I've seen tears shed and hearts soften, not excluding my own, as a result of this gift (thanks parents!)

Now to the deep end of my Kiddie pool (hope you brought floaties):

So October's virtue-of-the-month was Patience as the moving process required a lot of it.
This month's theme has been Contentment. Two areas of my life, specifically, have had revelations in what it means to be content:

1. God has blessed my finances in the past few years, but infinitely/eternally more important is that He so often reminds me to remain detached from this particular blessing. (To be clear, when I say 'detached,' I do not mean 'in denial of' and I do not mean 'uninvolved in its management'.) I wrestled throughout this month with these Scriptures on how God wants me to treat material blessings; and the answer to my questions was always contentment.
Contentment is a way of life that is achieved by surrender (a state of the mind) and maintained by gratitude (a state of the heart). The Bible has a lot to say about material wealth and possessions, and almost all of it is about its dangers - i.e. how money has a way of trapping the heart and the soul without our knowing, how wealth more often complicates than simplifies our life and worries, how riches might keep us from taking hold of "that which is truly life." (I Tim 6:19). My continual prayer is that the Lord will bless me with a grateful heart in exponential proportion to my material accumulation - God knows I need it.

2. I mentioned above that wherever I move, the Lord blesses me with a great church where I can serve and grow. What I noticed at this church in Japan is that my eagerness to serve often turned into vanity and pride (as many of our virtues have the potential of becoming.) The Lord has taught and given me many gifts that I'm eager to share with others; but when I'm not able to use these gifts as I would like, then how do I respond?
Do I quickly assert myself and openly offer my talents? Do I socially manipulate my way into the position I want? Or do I just wait in discontent until I get what I'm waiting for? These questions, as you can surmise, don't just apply to service in the church, but can be heard in our workplaces and in the grumblings of any hierarchical organization.

A sermon from Pastor Steven Furtick rings clear in my mind where he explains that when doing work for the Lord, you should never have to promote yourself and risk the pride that will well up inside of us as a result. I think that being assertive is important, but if I have to promote my standing/position while doing so, then my soul might be better off without the object that I was trying to obtain. Instead, Furtick says, do the best with what you have and wait for others to promote your standing for you.

It was during a recent sermon, when I couldn't listen over the noise of my own malcontent, that the Lord asked of me, "If I were to have you only serve as a church janitor for the rest of your time on earth, would that be enough for you? If your position never gave you the opportunity to teach, to play music, or to even be seen by others, would you be okay with that? If my portion for you gave you no glory on earth, would you still serve me with gladness?"

My truthful answer was "No, it would not be enough," and my realized arrogance broke my heart. Who am I really serving if my motivation is recognition and promotion?

The Lord was quick in redemption as He reminded me that He alone is my portion (Psalm 16:5). He reminded me that even if He removed from me every talent and blessing, I would still have more than enough in the only One who can save us from our own self-destruction and narcissism. Christ alone is our portion and He is enough for me.

As I write this, I'm reminded of the lyrics from the song quoted in my first post, which brought about the name of this blog:

"Whatever the cost

Whether it works out or not

...I'll follow You

With all of my heart."

In my workplace and in my service to the church, I seek to increase the quality of my portion and not the recognition of my position; because in the end, I'll have to give to the Lord an account of my allotments and I don't want to have to explain how I was too busy wondering about my next promotion to care for what has already been given to me.

After all, it's not what we do that's important, but who we love.